The Beginning

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the world has yet to stumble upon Mr. Darcy. Oh yes, you know of whom I speak--that tall, dark, handsome specimen with brooding eyes...eyes that can sparkle one moment and simmer the next, forcing the butterflies in your stomach to go wild. But it's not just his smoldering eyes! No, this action figure comes complete with a personality like none other. Domineering, yet sensitive; serious, and somehow playful. With qualities such as these, it's a wonder that we haven't given up the hunt.

But to me it makes no sense. Since the release of Jane Austen's exalted publication of Pride and Prejudice, hormonal women (young and old) have been on the constant look-out for Mr. Dahhhcy. We pass the silly, girlish tradition on from generation to generation, hoping that someday the holy grail of males will be discovered. If you are one of these women (which I think we all are, even if some of us hate to admit it), I have one question for you.


What about Mr. Collins?


Okay, okay--I kind of pulled the rug from under your fantastical feetish *ahem* fetish. But think about it. You snickered to yourselves whenever Mr. Collins made an awkward comment or tried too hard. His attitude domineering, yet hardly sensitive, made it hilariously uncomfortable for any respectable Austen character to keep a straight face themselves. And let's face it--Mr. Collins' eyes were nothing special; I always imagined them as beady rat eyes just biding their time until seizing sight of the perfect piece of Gouda. But I digress.
Can't you see? The quest for Mr. Darcy has yet to fail, but what we need to understand is that the holy grail of males is as rare as the Monty Python of buffoons. I had yet to find someone so pious, assuming, arrogant, and erudite as Mr. William Collins.

...Until mid-September rolled along.
My dear Lizzie Bennet, you were right. Perhaps Mr. Collins has a cousin.


The purpose of this blog is to tell the story of how I found Mr. Collins' relation and our intriguing relationship together. I will post as often as I can. Until next time, remember:

"Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all." -- Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennet, Chapter 27.